With This Tattoo, I Thee Wed
Valentine’s
Day often finds couples speaking of love and lasting commitment. Some
have concluded (for better or worse) that there is no finer way to
celebrate eternal love than by showcasing it on one’s ring finger with a
tattoo.
“Once
you get it, there’s no turning back,” said Christopher Forsley, who was
married last July to Sarah Patterson in Santa Monica, Calif. For Mr.
Forsley, 30, a comic book writer, and Ms. Forsley, 28, a cake maker, the
factors driving their decision to get inked came down to cost,
minimalism and timing — oh, and the fact that Mr. Forsley’s brother is a
tattoo artist.
“We’re
both broke and not materialistic,” Mr. Forsley said. “We liked the idea
that this wasn’t an object, but rather something that was going to
become a part of us.”
The bride added, “This matched who we are.”
Mike
Martin, the owner of Flesh Skin Grafix Tattoo in Imperial Beach,
Calif., said, “I see maybe one couple a week, which is a lot considering
five years ago almost no one was asking for them.”
Given
the permanence of tattoos, inked-on rings are generally for those who
have recently been married rather than simply engaged. Surprising one’s
intended with an unexpected trip to a tattoo parlor, perhaps on one
knee, may not go over as expected.
“A proposal isn’t always forever, and the wedding might not happen,” said Mr. Martin, who is also the president of the Alliance of Professional Tattooists.
He said he has never had calls for tattooed engagement rings. Like the
ink itself, he added, “Once the knot is tied, it’s far more permanent.”
Tattooed-on
wedding rings come in an array of designs. Among the most popular are
branding the wedding date, spouse’s name or initials onto the finger.
Some designs are simple; a monochrome squiggle line or the infinity
symbol around the digit. Some favor words: “always,” “forever” or
“together.”
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For
her marriage to Jay Z, Beyoncé had a Roman numeral inked onto her ring
finger. Behati Prinsloo, who is married to Adam Levine, had three dots
tattooed onto her ring finger.
Others
are intricate works of art, incorporating objects like arrows going off
in different directions, a heart and key, or an outline of the state
where the couple fell in love. Dax Shepard, who is married to Kristen
Bell, has a bell-shaped tattoo inside of which are three initials: K, L
and D, for Kristen, Dax, and their daughter Lincoln.
Those
who go for inked-on rings are often looking for a different kind of
wedding experience to go along with them. “I never wanted to have a
traditional wedding,” said Molly Serena Dorsman, 29, a music teacher in
New Jersey, who married Dzermin Mesic, 32, a chef, in 2012.
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She
contends that those who favor the traditional gold ring often get
divorced. “We want to be married forever,” she said, “and this cements
that.”
For
their ceremony, held in a courthouse in New Jersey, Ms. Dorsman and Mr.
Mesic bought stand-in rings from a flea market. He got a basic silver
band and she got a thick-banded ring with vintage roses on it, silver as
well.
A
few days later, the couple visited her friend’s store, Aqua Santa
Tattoo, a parlor on West 18th Street in Manhattan, from which they each
chose a simple band; she had a heart added to hers.
In
addition to “increasing the feeling of permanency of a couple’s faith,”
said Myrna L. Armstrong, a retired professor from the Texas Tech
University Health Sciences Center, a ring tattoo represents a
“distinctive choice to have this done, and the understanding that no one
else will have anything like theirs. These intense meanings are very
appealing to couples.”
“Tattoos
make people feel good, special and unique” and are particularly
appealing to millennials, said Ms. Armstrong, who has studied tattoos
for 25 years. “It’s become a common and comfortable means of providing a
message to themselves and to others.”
Anthony
Botiglione, 43, who is to marry Jennifer Fiorenza, 35, a publicist, on
Feb. 28 in Baiting Hollow, N.Y., said, “You can’t take it off, you can’t
lose it, you can’t put it in your pocket, which some men do to show the
world they’re not married.
“I
don’t want to be that guy,” Mr. Botiglione said. “I want to look at my
hand and know this huge commitment I’ve made is forever.”
Because
he’s in construction, he cannot wear jewelry; he will get a simple
black tattoo band when the couple return from their honeymoon in March.
But she will stick with a traditional ultrathin rose-gold band with pavé
diamonds.
Those
seeking tattooed wedding rings, said Mr. Martin, want to step out on
the edge a bit. “But they don’t want to freak anyone out,” he said.
“It’s acceptable at work, and no one will fire them for it.”
Gold
wedding bands typically cost $300 to $700 each, according to a
representative of the Jewelers of America trade association. Mr. Martin
said his shop typically charges about $60 for a simple design that the
couple brings in. If he is creating it, and there are a number of colors
or it’s a technical piece, it could be $100 or more.
The
latter price is what Mr. Forsley’s brother said that he would have
charged per ring to other clients. But for Mr. Forsley, the fact that
the rings were free was not as important as “having my brother design
and tattoo us. It was far better than going to a store and having a
salesperson talk you into something.”
Ms.
Dorsman and Mr. Mesic recall paying the personal friend who inked their
wedding bands about $50 each. That doesn’t mean that Mr. Mesic skipped
over presenting her first with an engagement ring.
“My
husband did give me an engagement ring,” she said. “It was a plastic
one from 7-Eleven. I was pretty gung-ho on not wanting a ring.”
Tattoos
can cost less than traditional jewelry, but that doesn’t mean they are
cost-effective or long-lasting. Inked rings do fade with time. The skin
on hands sheds more quickly because of constant use, and gets the most
exposure to sun. To compensate, tattoo artists must inject the ink
deeper than the customary two levels of the dermis.
Last
month, almost every chair in Kings Avenue Tattoo on the Bowery in
Manhattan was filled, as Devin Ikram, 32, and his wife, Kayla, 31, sat
on the padded black seats while Zac Scheinbaum fixed the triangle tattoo
he had inked onto Devin’s ring finger four months earlier, when the
couple wed.
Mr.
Ikram, a graphic designer, had created the triangles after he spent two
weeks researching symbolism, alchemy and elemental shapes. “These
represent a dichotomy of polar opposites and the fitting together,” he
said while Mr. Scheinbaum re-inked his ring finger, a process that took
only minutes. “A triangle pointing up is masculine. One pointing down is
feminine,” he added.
If
a marriage does not work out, one can’t simply tug off a tattooed ring.
Among those who may now wish they hadn’t gotten inked are Rosie
O’Donnell, who has an “M” — her second wife’s first initial — tattooed
on her ring finger, and Pamela Anderson, who had her “Tommy” ring tattoo
removed.
“In
the past two years, we’ve been getting approximately one patient a
month asking for the tattoo to be removed,” said Dr. Roy G. Geronemus,
director of the Laser and Skin Surgery Center of New York. “Prior to
that, I’d not seen them at all.”
Dr.
Geronemus said women were more apt to appear in his waiting room, eager
for the deletion. “More women come in, some are angry, some convey
concern, some remorse,” he said. “The tattoo now is a constant reminder
of a failed relationship. Women want it off and they want it off quickly
so they can move on psychologically.”
That
is very expensive. The tattoo may have cost $50 to $150 and taken a
short time to ink, but to make it vanish, Dr. Geronemus said, could take
four to five office sessions, costing $400 per visit.
Yet
that hasn’t deterred those seeking something different. And tattoo
artists are welcoming couples with open, tattooed arms. “Tattoo artists
tend to be very entrepreneurial,” said Ms. Armstrong, the retired
professor. “It’s a competitive world, and it seems quite logical that
some would create tattoo wedding band packages where the couple comes in
together to have them done either before or after their ceremony.”
Mr. and Ms. Ikram left Kings Avenue Tattoo all smiles and kisses.
“We
own this,” Mr. Ikram said, while looking at his newly re-inked finger.
“We were part of this creation. Now that it’s back to its original
color, I feel much better. It didn’t look like my wife’s. Before, people
couldn’t tell what it was. Now I can show it off.”
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